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Shit happens [Mar. 9th, 2011|12:46 am]
I feel so fucking dumb to see things that I don't wanna see and make myself feel like a idiot. Everything fucking hurts now like some slut and whatever someone told me made me thought that yes, there is still chance after everything but I guess not and FUCK WHY IS IT ALWAYS LYNETTE? This made me miserable and yes, laugh at me for being pathetic.

Something is wrong but I'm gonna leave it.
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Ages [Dec. 28th, 2010|02:51 am]
Wow, it's been long ever since I came on to lj.... feels, unhomely (is that even a word?!)
Anyway, I am just staying up till 5.15am so I can go bathe and get ready cos I have to reach golden mile complex at 6.45am!
Excited for genting even thou I know there is nothing there!

Anyway, I read thru my old posts and I feel.....quite emotional. Hahaha, unlike how I am feeling nowadays (it's either happy/angry/jealous)

Btw, did I mention how much I hate my sensitivity?!

Toodles!
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We started off as strangers, now we've came this far - together. [Sep. 4th, 2008|04:52 pm]
[Current Mood |highhigh]

I seriously never thought I'd come this far be it with my girlfriends or my real boyfriend. I mean it. I love you all. This is after seeing Joan's testimonial post. Hahah. Well this is sorta dramatic but I don't care either way. I have been with my girlfriends for almost 3 years and my dear boyfriend for a year plus.

I thought the 8/9 of us would eventually break up and seperate ouselves but no.. I think we can't live without each other's nonsense and I really like you all 'cos you guys are fun. Hahah, fucking les. and all. Irritating as hell and I like my dear deskmate, HuangZhaoBin. The one who's always telling me stories. I'm always disturbing her all the way throughout the school hours because I never EMO. Stupid Eugenia always irritating me. Remember her sugar syrup and Oprah Winfrey joke at CoffeeClub? Lol. I think I have been with her for 2 years alr. We got together like on the 13th, a bad friday. LOL. I always mix up JH and YH's name and they get so irritated because this is the third year alr! Aha, sorry. Yiting sunset, crazy girl that I luv and SarahTan, my new girlfriend like on 20082008!! Hahaha well to make it short and simple, I love you all and that will never change. No matter what they say about us, we will always be ourselves, yeah.

(INSERTS A VERY BIG HEART FOR THE NINE OF US!!!)

Okay boyfriend, hope you never get to see this. I'm bloody shy. It has been more than a year. I still remember that night you called me and listened to me crying. That night, we were friends only. The next day, we were more than friends. Sorry for what I have did in the past, refers to that year when we got together before. Thanks for being so nice and such an ass at times. Doing all you can just for me. Thanks for your very light N95 (He said that was to make up all the times when you pissed me off and all, heh) But I love you no matter what happens! We've been through so much and yes, you bothered to remember our anni. date 'cos it has been a year. We will go countdown together this year again okay! Hahahah and then I will kick your ass into NS alr :(  Ah. Love you long time! 120807 yay!

Keith Chalet now. BAIBAI!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

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How inconsequential our lives are, my dear [Aug. 28th, 2008|07:16 pm]
[Current Mood |nostalgicnostalgic]

Hellu earthlings! I'm posting at lj again, just for now. Well I just come back on random days to update a bit. It's not as if anyone cares so yeah. I hate BeYourselfDay and I want hair extensions. Bloody hair is so ugly now. I am sad but I can't be bothered telling and no one can be bothered to listen. I hate being in Singapore because I can't do what I want in life but only do things that I dislike and do for the sake of doing it. I never seem to realise what life is about until ( ___ ). I never knew English was important, and I obviously think money comes easy 'cause I get it when I ask for it and so, ends up not saving any cash. 

Well this is the very ugly and harsh reality we have to face. I have been through shit and so does everyone who knows how to think with their brains ('cause we all know everyone has brains but not all can think well enough for themselves) I think I think too much for my own good that caused my paranoia and I care too much about what people say that makes me do certain things and regret after. They say, "What's done is done, it cannot be undone". There is always someone inbetween you and me. I can't get over things easily, I can't forget things easily and I can't do what you ask me to within such a short time. I hate my life but the people around me made this world look many times better. 

All the education fuck we go through. Are we even doing it for ourselves or are we doing it to get it done and over with? Well I'm doing it just so can get at least an Olvl certificate and by then, I hope my mum will send me over to Aust. for foundational studies. People like Cephas alr gave up and intends to pop over to a private school. Others are still trying - even though they have got lousy results. What am suppose to do? I don't know.

I am good at nothing but spending cash. I can't earn a living in Sg with my passion. I don't see myself going to Uni in the future. I feel like dying. Everyone's feeling suicidal. I hate this. 
Everyone dies eventually. I wanna know when I die and where I die. I wanna live my life like the way I want it to be and not being manipulated by anyone or anything. I should fake my own death like what Js tells me to. 

Good night everyone. Have a nice BeYourselfDay tomorrow, (faggy)NASians.

YOUR HEART IS AN EMPTY ROOM
RIGHT NOW, I'M LETTING MY HEART SINK TILL IT DIES.
BITCH :(

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Lyvia HELPS! [Jun. 22nd, 2008|12:57 am]
Back to breakdown-inscreamo.blogspot

lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
lyvia.
the superest

Carolyn says i can mess around! WHOO! AH LALALALA!
MY BDAY'S COMING!
CAROLYN LOVES LYVIA!!
Chinese is TOILETBOWL ASS ASS ASS
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You can't escape reality [Jun. 21st, 2008|06:13 pm]
[Current Mood |happyHappy to neutral to sad]

At the beginning-Richard Marx & Donna Lewis

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

--

Heard this song at the graduation party,at a vbcamp if I haven't remember wrongly,for our seniors one or two years ago. Nice video,nice party for 'em too. Glad that I still manage to see them play at matches. 
This year would be for my beloved team mates' Bel turned up for the Bbq and I'm sure as hell that I really missed her like hell. Pray hard that our poh will pass her Nlvl and stay with us till next year(package includes getting into Ny too haha)

Stay home Saturday today. Lazy to go for coffee even though I suggested it to Eug. I'm gettin' cupcakes for my baby from c-cup.biz!!! Yeah man gonna get a few for myself. I reckon they will taste great. 'Cos they look great? 
Hahah. School starts on monday(fk!!!) Plus training of 'cos-.- It's time to rush through my holiday homework. Math is sucha turn off. I wanna do SS but... I guess I'll spend all of my time next week doing it. I mustmustmust do all my homework from now onwards and pass all my tests and do olvls next year for math and cheena.
Junior's matches coming up on this thursday just hope they'll get into top 4 at least,it wouldn't look so bad then. I miss Jh and all!! Haven't seen her for quite some time. Not forgetting,I'm quitting sakura soon(But I want my uniform money back!! it's freakin' 50bucks and it's like SHIT.) I will never ever work there again. Sucks big time and shows how ugly(not superficial la!) many Singaporeans are. 

Piano tomorrow :( I so wanna quit. K shit,I'm gone. I shouldn't have gone back given my hectic schedules. Irritating as it can be and oh, I'm lookin' forward to youth cup! Hoping for a new jersey for youth cup of 'cos. I need to get a diary gr. I keep forgetting. I have quite a few things to get and I'm gonna get that very gay flower or w/e tongue stud which me and Lyvia saw aha. Get that rubberthingy that you wear on your neck for like 52 bucks. Seriously wonder if I should get it. Prolly a waste of money though. Okay Idk.

Baibai. I feel sad now. Not happy anymore. 
:( 

WHO WANTS TO BUY CUPCAKES CALL ME KAY! 
Then we share the order tgr :) Hee. Go c-cup.biz! 

Love y'all!

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I ain't weak but I ain't strong either [Jun. 20th, 2008|10:19 pm]
[Current Mood |Weak]

Bbq ytd was alright. Tired as hell home at 1.30am,training today,boring and I'm tired.
I miss my boyfriend. Alot. Haven't seen him in what,5.5 months. Seeing him in 9 days! YAY.
But I'm pretty sad for now. Was bloody pissed on the court just now but everything turns out alright after.
See,playing in a match really crash everybody's mood(when small kids cheer for nothing,making a big fuss over 1 point as if they've never won in their life before. C'mon suckers,you can do better than that. You guys are nearing Bgirls and what,you can't even whack balls properly to own us but only do shit like freeball and stuff. That's very sad)
K but I hope for the best for my dear Cgirls even though...But yeah. Except for F*,I have nothing to say but goodluck,in a very rude manner. Oops. K bai. Dad's bring me out for supper and I've to remove my stud for now,F!

To my dear friends,
I really hope you guys would understand for that 2weeks when J comes back and yeah. I don't want you guys to say like I neglect you all and yeah. I only have that 2weeks and if you guys can't understand that then I'm sorry. At the end of everything, I STILL LOVE YOU ALL :) Like seriously.

Luv all. 
Goodnight bf,
Goodnight mates,
Goodnight Eug darling and I hope you're feeling better :) REALLY LAH
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I thought I could be somebody [Jun. 19th, 2008|12:08 pm]
[Current Mood |In pain]

BBQ in 3hrs time. Meeting Jw and Bel first :) Gonna get my treat and get my bloody diary for my shit or maybe not. See y'all when I'm back!

I love you boyfriend :) I miss you too! 10 days more,hold on.
J,glad that you've thought about everything ytd. Supersub! Love.
Darling E,don't be sad anymore kay. Sun comes out after rain :D

 
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Do I? Really? [Jun. 17th, 2008|05:43 pm]
 People are telling me I sound very 'bleh' nowadays. I mean really? I just don't feel the same as before. Not even that feeling with my team mates. I guess that's why Phebe don't really mean to be that way in the past,it's just that it's sickening that she've to be in that position. If I ever change,to someone like shit and acts like some fucking cunt,please tell me? I mean I don't know. I just felt like bullshit for all this while. And I'm feeling veryvery tired too. Down with flu and abit of sore throat. The two kids today nearly killed me with their cries. I've never tried two kids crying together at the same time. AH!

I just hope YOU will be okay after hearing what Phebe told you about the whole thing. I just don't know how to tell you things like 'cos we've been together for so long and I know the truth would hurt but the whole team wants you to play. It's better off letting that fat banana play. I mean seriously. It hurts to see him scolding you ytd. It hurts even more when you cry and I can't do anything. I mean all these words I typed down over here and I really hope you'll be better. You'll be a better subset than D* :D
Love.

I've learnt so much from all this things that happened. I'll be stronger than ever.
Thanks bf,Be and Yc.
 
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I use heavy duty batteries,yo [Jun. 14th, 2008|01:50 pm]
I have freaking work today. Rah. I'm getting my pay and it'll obviously be less than TEN bucks. Wtfabc. I was tooooooo tired to go for junior's training today. Piano tmr,sickening. See me back at night and telling you I'm half alive. I love y'all. I love Js and I love Eug :) Happy now eug? ;D OH,Eug never dares to touch Elodie she claims that Elodie is too small for her and she have some phobia. Who ask her eat until so big and drop her brother when he was young. Idiot. Hahahha.
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